i am not free thinker anymore

I know it is always hard to run away from anything that has already been arranged for you or simply you were born to inherit it. Family tradition, religion ...
It has been a long time that i enjoy being a free thinker. Buddhism is what my family has followed for many generations and it s so hard to communicate to mom, dad, grandma now if i don't accept it as what i should have been. Though i really didn't think of it, i am not against it either. Perhaps time has come and choosing to believe in is better choice.
Well i will try to practice. I only feel sad because in the end, i didn't make the choice i want for myself.