Thank you - Dido

Normally i don't blog on weekdays but today is an exception because today is really not a good day but yet there are lessons to be learned. I certainly don't mean all those econs, GP stuffs because they are lessons that i am forced to learn. To be honest, i am sick of studying econs so i blog. The lessons i am implying here are those i acquired from my behaviors and my feelings.
First, today i apologized to a friend and it was great that he understands the motive of my actions. I am happy i have such a friend. And from this i learned one lesson: "Sometimes when a person makes a mistake, your correction is just making him feel that you are sorry for him and he will be even more upset. Understanding why he made the mistake must come before your attempt to correct it. Even better, if you understand why and encourage him to correct it himself". Personally i think true friendship lies in understanding :)
Currently i am feeling that i have not spoken what i need and have to speak to someone. In fact, i could not figure out who that was and i could not know how. Reality is just a blur eventually. Sometimes i can feel it comes very near but sometimes i can't feel it just a bit. I don't know what is wrong with me. I wish only i could have some heat, though just very little to spark whatever fire that need to be lighted. Nevertheless, it s still dark and i cant seem to find my way. I don't know ... I will watch out for it and hope that by any chance, i can find my answer!
For now, stay happy, healthy and ...
Go to sleep dude!
:)

Good Riddance (aka Time of your life) - Green Day

Today is the first Friday of August. Why am i mentioning this? It is because the first Friday of every month seems so special to me. I was born at 12:00 on Friday but it s actually counted as a Saturday :)
Monday was ominous. Every morning, before going to school, i play my guitar like for 5 minutes. Not exactly playing though, it s just an amateur plucking the string and finding the sound so interesting. Perhaps he plucked too hard that the string broke. Nevertheless, nothing really bad actually happened. Thank God!
The whole week has passed in excitement and surprise though i felt kinda tired and stressful. Hosting the Germans is perhaps the most prominent happening to me. They are very nice people and innocent. Yes, innocent because most of them are just 15 years old. I had a hard time communicating because they could not speak much English. Nevertheless, from this experience, i learned the power of sign language. I also managed to learn quite a bit of Germans from them like how to say "what s your name? where are you from? can u speak English? ...". Next time if i had a chance to go to Germany, i would not have been totally lost hahaha. Oh, before i forget to mention, they are really skillful footballer. Sadly, they are better than me :( but i will try harder (not to worry, i still have the whole life ahead). It is true that Germany is named the "panzer".
The emphasis of all this buddies busines is the trip to Sentosa. As a hosting buddy, i took them to Sentosa. Then, they decided they want to go on their own all over the island so i let them be. Nevertheless, i was afraid they would get lost so i followed them secretly (yes, i am such a stalker :( ). Funny, i myself got lost somewhere along the way and it was more than 2 hours before 5h30. I said to myself "Anyway i am lost, perhaps i should take this chance to explore Sentosa". So i went into Imbiah Trail. I followed the trail and arrived at a waterfall. I saw rock bed and i swear to God i dont know why i slept there for more than 1 hour. It was really windy and somemore, the birds were singing. By the time i woke up, it was 45 min till 5h30. I found my way out of the trial and i took a bus. The bus driver was really nice to show me how to get to my "meeting" point at Cable Car Station. I reached 5 mins early. Hahaha that was a nice day, isnt it?
Senior farewell is drawing near and i am to sing a song, maybe a few la. Feeling very sian, cos my singing is terrible but i will try my best. I will change the lyrics and make it meaningful so as the seniors will be touched by the lyrics, not disgusted by the melody (which will be terribly presented by me :() Looking forwards to all the fun and of course, all the touching moments, and obviously all the crying, but in the end, the only one thing we will remember is that our hearts always beat the same rythm of all loves we have shared.
For the last week, quite a number of my friends were sick and fortunately, none of them gets H1N1. The best i could do is to wish them well, pass them food (haha Travis), and chat to get them out of boredome of the quarantine area. "you got to stay healthy and dont feel sick", right after i told myself this, i suffered from a sore-throat. It still hurts now. Actually, it was yesterday that i told myself this.
I am wondering what to write now. Oh, hell how can i forget the National Day stuff? The performances at school was really awesome and i really feel thankful to all those who put in their effort to make such a good show. And there is a moment which i vaguely, no vividly remembered that i felt so strange, yet so happy. I think that was someone's eyes.
Suddenly, i remember a joke i had with Phong during June holiday. It goes like this:
"Phong put his key on the table. I looked at it and felt something strange about it. So i asked him "what key is this?" He answered me "It s a key". Hmm, hmm i seems to accept his answer but u see obviously he didnt answer my question and bingo, i realised something and i questioned him back "It s not a key, isnt it?". He asserted "It is". I told him "It s a monkey [mon-key]. Got it? hahaha, cos there is a monkey face printed on his key. Ok it s no joke, i am sorry. I am just being lame."

~ Time grab you by your wrist directs you where to go (from Green Day) ~

Good bye to Romance - Ozzy Osburne

Today is Friday night, isn't it? And i don't feel like studying now and also, who study at 12:00 am on Friday night? Reflecting a bit on what has happened so far should do some good because i have been twirling around for the past two weeks.
First, Common Test results are out. Disappointingly, it didn't turn out to be as good as i expected. I could have done worse for some and could have done better for some. I felt it unfair because the subject i put in the most effort,i.e. GP, i got the worse result, an E. Damn! The rest was just fine. Still there will be three more exams and A level, i swear i will do better for GP. Yes, but the question is 'how'. I know my mom is unhappy about this because she always worries that i wont be able to go uni with an E for GP though she still tried to encourage me on the phone. I tried my best, perhaps not did my best :)
I still have not gotten used to the fact that i am no longer a SL. In the evening before last Tuesday, i still sit down and planned training and suddenly realized that i am not in the position to do it anymore. I laughed at myself at the desk. Tonight when i was making some tea, i asked myself a question "what is for training tomorrow?", the one i have never been asking myself for nearly a year. I am smiling to myself writing these down. Nevertheless, i know it will soon be over.
Currently, i have not been well. I was suffering a light flu, then an ankle injury which almost immobilise me. Sometimes i felt like half of my brain was gone. I couldnt feel anything but headache, somemore my nose bleeds thrice. I dont know what is happening. Fortunately, i just got some very nice music to relieve all those problems. I decide to take a good rest this weekend with music, sport and outgoings. There wont be any notes, tutorials, works that entangle my eye and my mind. Can you believe that i have finished all tutorials for all of the subjects up to the lecture's pace? Technically i got no more homework, yay!
Other than what i have learnt because i am forced to learn, i have learnt something else from my own experience. Do you think love is a function of distance and frequency and frienship is that of money and benefit exploited? Yes it sounds very sad because it is contrary to our expectation of a blue love and pure friendship. When a person says there is no point continuing this, you know it is really pointless. I have been trying to explain what happened but they were not listened and understood. My friendship has just gone through a test and it failed miserably but still there is hope if all those answer are just nonsensical and unthoughtful. If you read this, i want you to know that i have set up all those and from what i have seen, you are just using me though i am trying my best to give you what you want and resolve potential conflicts for you. All the damn you can give me back is how you can get me pay for everything and if i cant, i am out of the game. Is it true what you are thinking?
Let me end this with a joke i just invented during today chem lecture:
A student who just walks into the LT from the toilet, though he was walking quietly and tried not to disturb the lecture. The lecturer who is lecturing still turns to him and asks sarcastically "Are you coming back from toilet? What took you so long?" The LT bursts in laughter. The student waits there for the laughter to cease and he replied: "yes i was in the toilet because WHO GAVE A SHIT IN THIS LECTURE!, except for you". The lecturer sinks in embarrassment.
Moral of the story: dont anyhow mess with anyone!

~You can find any excuse to be happy in life. Stay cheerful but calm~

Mad World

Currently i have found some interesting links between the werewolves' folktales and the wolves of Mongolia so i wanted to write them down but then i realized that will be of no use other than for my interest. Alternatively speaking, i will only write it for myself to read so isn't it better to just keep it in my mind. It would be more coherent that way (haha my English sucks btw). That s when i decided to blog (more than 3 weeks already perhaps). Ok, so let's repeat our most familiar topics: life, love, friend, study ...
Life has never been so easy. Just to survive is already so impossible but the truth is i survive so perhaps life is not hard at all. Enough food, actually more than enough but food sucks and hell, yes but to survive, you must eat. I have never slept enough these two weeks. Perhaps because life is hard so you cant sleep more. Usually i wake up in the middle of the night because of ???, because of what ah, what the else woke me up? I dont know.
(Holy shit, what crap am i writing? Ok shall not write anymore)
UPDATE SUCCESSFULLY!!!

Cold as You - Taylor Swift

I know blogging at this time is really a stupid thing because it has already passed 2 in the morning and i am supposed to be asleep. But i am downloading movies and i have to wait for it to finish. Not that i really like to download stuffs online, i know it is illegal. I swear to God that i have limited myself these days so much that i did not download anything from anywhere, except for emails and KM. No MP3, no movies, no e books, no software ....The most i do is to copy from my friends. But you know sometimes rules can be broken. I have watched "Angel and Demon" trailer and i know it is very nice (omg, cant stand it) but the whole holiday i just could not set aside anytime to go to the cinema. That s why i need to download it. But again i shall not watch it right after the moment i finish downloading because i want to sleep (no i need to sleep :)
Today probably will be the last day i stay up late because next week is the Common Test and i certainly do not want to look at the paper with "upside down, rolling and jumping" words as well as symbols that do not resemble numbers. Hell first CTs, aiming to pass everything including GP. Arhhhh i love GP the most because i don't know much about it in order to hate it. I wish i could know more about it then but HOW HOW HOW?
Mom knows i am going to have exams so she called yesterday. I am so touched that she wishes me luck and everything not only for the test but for the rest of my life. "You will regret what you tried your best for but didnt do your best for, but you wont regret what you tried your best for but still could not do your best for". That was a rough translation. Up to your own understanding, i dont really get it though. Usually everytimes she calls, she will do so but this time it was really special because this year i didnt go home. I missed home so much. Haha i forgot to mention that boring parts she always asked "why havent you been sleeping? what did you eat today? feeling good?...."
It has been rainy in Singapore these few days. I cannot cycle, go out so i just stay in the room and look at the rain and "emo". Alan asked me a question of what my elf is like, and my ans is of some creatures sitting at the top of a tree, looking far and contemplating. Can anyone see the resemblance between me and my elf now? Haha I like rains because i was born in a rainy day (this is random!)

Move along - The All-American Rejects

Two weeks of the holiday have passed and perhaps it's time to consolidate what happened. This holiday most of my friends are at home and enjoy the holiday with their family. And every time i talked to them online, i was so tempted to buy a ticket online and go home the next morning but sadly i could not. The most relief thing i could do is to make a phone call. Sometimes, 10-15 minutes are enough!
These two weeks i have been living like a man who earns his own living (not scholar's allowance). For the first two days i woke up at 7 and took a bus to A*Star where i worked and i reached there at 8h30 or 9. But i felt it so boring to take bus everyday so for the third day i decided to cycle there, and guess what it took me 35 min only. The cycling innovation allowed me to wake up at 7h45 in the consecutive days. In the afternoon, i returned at 4h30 and reached hostel at about 5h15 or 5h30. Actually i was required to stay until 5 but hell, the boss and lab techs left at 4h3o, some even at 4, why must i stay so late? UNFAIR! For a work that is definitely laborious, but for sure doesn't require brain at all, i was paid 50$ per day. I don't know how much an average Singaporean earns per day but for me, for 5 days i earned 250$ which is like 1/3 of my allowance (for 3 months). Hahaha such a good deal, isnt it? I remembered the week before that i helped Mrs.Tan clean her house and she paid me 80$ . At this point, i think A*Star is exploiting me. Am i that cheap?
Doing all that work makes my body feel like nothing other than a block of moving fat and proteins (or not even move at all). The moment i lifted my butt from the chair, there seems something pulling me down. Sometimes, i didnt even want to get up. Just sit down and stare at the screen! Then it was so perfect that Gwen asked me whether i want to dance for IP team. So happily, I felt like i can move again. Perfect, i returned at 5, having dinner and practiced the dance with Yida at 7. Perfect, at least i exercised so i wont get obese. But sometimes getting fatter isnt that bad. When i put on Nam's costumes, i wished my belly is at least the size of that belly dancer so the pants wouldnt drop. Now i am trying to gain weight :) Dancing again is so fun, dancing with juniors is even more fun and once again being in an IP team is the funniest (i am a retainee). Thank you everyone who has been with me through this experience!
That was about work life, dance life and interestingly i realised that people like my facebook notes, not because of anything but its lameness. Thanks to Jade, Alison, Hang ...for complimenting me! Really those notes were done when i just wanted to be free, i just throwed the words without considering it be appropriate. That s the blessing and the curse of a FREE mind. I will produce more as long as you all like it and read it.
Yeah this post is entirely a reply to PP's request. I updated my blog for you and what about you? WIll you do the same thing? Just for me. Omg, this sounds so gay.
P.S Did i miss out anything? Hell, 2 weeks are long.

10 things i hate about you

The inevitable life cycle of "The Blog" caught up with me today. I realize that i spent the first few days fascinated with myself, writing all the time. “The world now knows what I think about it all,” i say to myself, keeping them updated on my most recent bowel movements, emotions and the like. Then after a week i decided to look up how many people have viewed your page since its inception and realized no one gives a shit what i said (ok, some do give a shit, u know i dont mean shit, just a way of saying). That’s when the indifference sets in and, typically, i suddenly find myself without anything worth writing about. But it is a mistake to think that way actually!

Haha, no offense to the people out there, update your blog. Wkb, PP, Alison ... if you are suffering that "blog cycle" above, update your blog because i do give a s*** about what you say on your blog ok. So yeah update!

It happened to me for the last two days either been rotting at work, getting back to hostel, or lying awake desperately trying to cling to the denial that I have to repeat all over tomorrow.

I cam across a web page today and i found this, it is very ... uhm, up to you how you want to interprete it la :)

I hate the way you talk to me

and the way you cut your hair

I hate the way you drive my car.

I hate it when you stare

I hate your big dumb combat boots

and the way you read my mind

I hate you so much it makes me sick.

It even makes me rhyme

I hate it-

I hate the way you're always right
I hate it when you lie

I hate it when you make me laugh,

even worse when you make me cry

I hate it when you're not around

and the fact that you didn't call

But mostly, I hate the way

I don't hate you, not even close

not even a little bit,

not even at all